alleybaggett.net ~ View topic

Rank: Total Noob Joined: 12 Feb 2005 Posts: 9

Lately, I've realized that certain things should be kept privately.We are an independent individual with our own different lives.That goes to family & friends, if you'd like to keep your personal life privately--do so,its your right

I really don't know where I'm getting to,but I'm just a bit annoyed.

I'm a grown mature adult and I'm still growing with my life with school,careers,relationships,and etc. I just don't get it when whoever I've dated in the past or currently--I get critcized by my own siblings and or family member.Its like, they are not satisfy with their own lives so they come invading my life like paparazzi wanting every angle of my personal relationship.I only had two past relationships with great men that I've became friends with now.

My point is, is it wrong for me to break it down to my family members to back off my personal life and let me live my own life? I know I am the youngest sibling, but do they really NEED to insult & stereoype who I'm with and what I do?? Its not like,I'm doing negative things to myself or harm any other person.Plus, the person I'm with makes me happy.
Maybe because I am the youngest sister thats why they are treating me like I'm a kid.Who knows....

so, out to anyone out there.....
what would u do if you had this type of issue?
Question

Forum Admin Joined: 18 Oct 2003 Posts: 3670

Its probably hard being the youngest girl in the family. I think they're more protective of you.

The less they know the better I suppose.

Nothing wrong with telling your parents and family members to back off. Unless you're being supported by them, then that might be a different story.

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 28 Mar 2007 Posts: 2112

While I am no psychotherapist, I would have to agree with Mr. Trang. If you feel your family is smothering you, in this regard, then let them know. If you feel that they're treating you like "the baby", tell them that you want to take on the responsibility for your own decisions. It's the "If you won't let me experience, how can I learn?" argument.

That's the stratagem that worked for me at any rate.

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 4668

I must agree, it's your life, not theirs. If you want/need your family to back off from your personal life then tell them flat out. While it may be true that they feel more protective of you because you're the youngest child, that does'nt give them the right to invade your personal life. At most, it gives them the right to ask "How are you?" or "How was your day?" or "How was your date?" but that's all. A simple question to which you give a simple answer, period. Wether or not your family is supporting you is beside the point, in my opinion. It's your life, not theirs, what right do they have to it? This is all just outside opinion, however, it's up to you to decide what to do with our opinions and yours, just as it's up to you to decide what to do with your family.

Rank: Casual Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 28

It's kind of hard to say much without knowing more. My instinct is to tell you that it's your life, don't let your family bug you.

On the other hand, half the people on Jerry Springer probably described their life the way you describe yours. You could be headed towards huge problems and your family is trying to help, or you could be fine and they need to back off. There's just no way to know through an internet conversation.

My thought is that you should find a real life friend and go through all this with them. Just get into a lot more detail and get a good, trustworthy opinion. Make sure you listen to your family, they might not be wrong all the time. But also don't let them get to you, even if you don't listen to everything they say they might be happier for saying it.

Rank: Total Noob Joined: 12 Feb 2005 Posts: 9

thanks to all! Very Happy

i'm just going to avoid the negative remarks & comments
i will pray for my siblings
and hoping they will understand my perspectives

i'm not responding to their text/calls

i feel much better.

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 4668

Well that was the overall goal and I, for one, am glad to hear it. By the way, you could always write a letter to your family telling them all you need to say instead of saying it with your voice. You'd be surprised how easily some things can be said in writing when they're all but impossible to say vocally. Just one more method to think about.