alleybaggett.net ~ View topic

Rank: Senior Member Joined: 21 Oct 2008 Posts: 289

A kindergarten class received an assignment to observe something exciting, and then describe it to the class the next day. When the time came for the class to present their reports, the teacher called upon little Johnny to open the presentations. Johnny reluctantly left his seat, walked to the front of the class, and, with chalk in hand, preceded to make a small white dot on the blackboard. Perplexed, the teacher asked Johnny about the relationship of the mark on the board to his report. "Well, it's a period.", Johnny replied. "I can see that!", the teacher snapped. She then continued, "Would you like to tell me what is so exciting about a period?" Johnny thought for a moment, shrugged, then replied, "Damned if I know, but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then daddy had a heart attack, mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 08 Oct 2008 Posts: 3273

*facepalm*

XD

Rank: Senior Member Joined: 25 Oct 2008 Posts: 234

ROFLMFAO! First time I heard that I nearly wet myself

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 31 Jul 2008 Posts: 1578

-facepalm-

Reminds me of one of Jeff Dunham's jokes, with Bubba J.:

Jeff Dunham: You propose?
Bubba J.: No, her daddy did that.
Jeff Dunham: How did that happen?
Bubba J.: I went over to her house one night, was supposed to pick her up at seven, showed up at seven thirty. Her daddy was out on the porch with his shotgun, he said, "Hey, Bubba J! Guess who else is late?"

Rank: Senior Member Joined: 21 Oct 2008 Posts: 289

- What's your favorite beer, Bubba?
- An open one.

The last one reminded me of this:

A country doctor made a house call to a redneck couple who lived in the backcountry. The wife was in labor, and, since there were no hospitals located in the vicinity, the procedure would have to take place in the bedroom of the couple's home. Unfortunately, the home did not have electricity, and the doctor was reduced to working by the glow of a lantern.
"Here, hold this up so I can see.", he said, handing the lantern to the husband. Immediately, as soon as the lantern's glare lit up the area, a baby boy popped out. The doctor soon busied himself with cleaning the newborn, but stopped when he noticed what appeared to be another head emerging. "Here, hold this again!", he said as he shoved the lantern into the hands of the bewildered father. The father did as he was told, and, once again, a soon as the father raised the lantern, another baby burst into the open. The father began to lower his lantern, but the doctor roared, "No, don't! I see another one!" The father, dumbfounded, said, "......Do you think the light's drawin' 'em?"

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 08 Oct 2008 Posts: 3273

XD

Baby: "must...reach... towards...the light!"

Hilarious!

Rank: Rookie Joined: 20 Jun 2009 Posts: 92

lol all funny