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Official Model Joined: 14 Jul 2004 Posts: 320

hey guys, I am doing a contest with Danni's Hard Drive, where I am being auctioned off! I will accompany you on a date, including limo service, drinks & fine dining... a night to be remembered! Plus there will be a photographer there taking pictures that you get to keep! If any of you are interested check it out. If not I will let you all know how it goes!

Jesse xoxo Wink

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 16 Jul 2004 Posts: 2133

More apt to say buy a date with you.

If you're ever interested in a genuine date that leaves your heart irreversibly touched then let me know.

Official Model Joined: 14 Jul 2004 Posts: 320

Your cute

The date should be interesting, I'm looking forward to it!!
Jesse

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 16 Jul 2004 Posts: 2133

Forum Admin Joined: 18 Oct 2003 Posts: 3670

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 16 Jul 2004 Posts: 2133

Forum Admin Joined: 18 Oct 2003 Posts: 3670

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 16 Jul 2004 Posts: 2133

Rank: Casual Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 15

Hmm, $3,701. Wonder why it's so low... maybe because its just starting out? I predict Jesse will make a small fortune. There's your new BMW money! Excuse me while I rob a bank real quick...

Forum Admin Joined: 18 Oct 2003 Posts: 3670

Speaking of Banks..... Here's an old joke for you.... I'm sure Jesse can get away with doing something like this.... Smile

The Gambling Lady

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she wants to open a savings account. The accounts person asks her how much she would like to deposit to open the account and the little old lady says, "Three million dollars."

The accounts person is startled, and says, "In what form?" and the little old lady says, "Cash. I've got it here in this bag..." and the accounts person looks and, sure enough, the lady has a big grocery bag just chock full of green stuff with big denominations.

This is a highly unusual event, and the accounts person excuses herself to get the president of the bank to handle this one. He arrives, and escorts the little old lady to his office to handle it personally.

Once in his office, he asks the little old lady where she got so much money.

She says, "Gambling."

"Gambling?", he says. "What sort of gambling?"

"Oh, I make bets with people on all sorts of things, and I usually win. For example, I've got $100,000 right here that says that by noon tomorrow your balls will be square, and I'll even give you 4:1 odds. You got $25,000 you'd be willing to wager on that?"

The bank president is shocked at this sort of thing coming from a sweet little old lady, but he didn't get to be the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank without knowing something about money. "I suppose I could come up with enough to cover that sort of wager, but I wouldn't feel right taking it from you...there's no way you can win a bet like that!"

The little old lady just shook the bag, and said, "I know what I'm doing...and I can afford to lose, though I'm not going to. Is it a bet?"

"Ok, have it your way", said the president, and they shook hands on it.

"See you at 11:55 tomorrow morning", said the little old lady, and with that she left.

Next morning at 11:55 the little old lady arrives with a younger man in a three-piece suit, and is escorted to the bank president's office. The president is a nervous wreck, though a happy one. He'd gotten almost no sleep the night before, waking every few minutes to feel his balls to check for impending squareness, but nothing happened all night. He had
checked hundreds of times that morning, but still nothing; perfectly normal. When the little old lady arrived he started to relax, knowing he had won.

"Come in, please have a seat! Who might this gentleman be?" said the president.

"He's my lawyer. For a bet of this size I want to have a witness. Any objections?"

"No, perfectly understandable", said the president. "Well, it's now noon, and I'm still unchanged, so I guess I win!" he said happily.

"Not so fast!" said the little old lady. "For a hundred grand I want to verify things personally! Please drop your pants."

The bank president is a bit flustered, but agrees that in her position he'd want proof as well, so he drops his pants. The little old lady goes over to him and reaches out to feel the organs in question.

"Ok, you win, here's your $100,000," says the little old lady, handing over a bag of bills. As she does so, her lawyer starts banging his head against the wall and moaning.

"What's wrong with him?" asks the bank president.

"Oh, he's just upset. Poor loser if you ask me. You see, I had a bet for $1,000,000 with him that I would have the President of the Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls by noon today."

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 16 Jul 2004 Posts: 2133

LMAO!!!

That rocks, Ron! It was a bit long-winded, but worth it.

Forum Admin Joined: 18 Oct 2003 Posts: 3670

I'm sure the president of Chase Manhattan Bank- wouldn't mind having Jesse check his balls for squareness.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 16 Jul 2004 Posts: 2133

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 1564

Hi,

reading some of the old topics. I was just wondering how that dream date went. Jesse?

Could be that it is on some other topic, which I haven't seen.

Take care.

Official Model Joined: 14 Jul 2004 Posts: 320

Hi,
the dream date was fun! We went to dinner at a really nice restaurant in Marina Del Rey. I wanted to go to a strip club after but he had a business meetig and couldn't make it......his loss!!!
Jesse xoxo

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 1564

WOW! BIG LOSS! I got a bank full of money, next dream date will be you and me sweety Wink

Rank: Rookie Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 52

I wonder if you can do another aunction like after I get from an area in one of two hostile areas either Afganistan or Iraq. let see deployment is 12 months away and it's 12 months long. Another win a date on feb 2007. By then I'll have a lot of money from my tax free as well as hazardous duty pay.

Moderator Joined: 09 Jan 2004 Posts: 94

Rank: Rookie Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 52

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 1564

Moving the meeting to the strip club sounds good. Most important deals get done in strip clubs. Mr. Green

Rank: Mr. Fabulous Joined: 19 Jul 2004 Posts: 519

Bringing the strippers to your office sounds like a better idea Very Happy

iii

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 1564

But I don't have a dancing pole ! Twisted Evil

Rank: Mr. Fabulous Joined: 19 Jul 2004 Posts: 519

You could always lie on your back and look at pictures of Jesse Very Happy

!i!i

Official Model Joined: 14 Jul 2004 Posts: 320

Ya, I found it a bit strange!! Who wouldn't want to go to a strip club and get lap dances...maybe he was really shy???
Jesse xoxo

Rank: Rookie Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 52

well hope you get a better chance next year. assuming you'll be single in a year

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 1564

Or he was gay!? And he just was hungry... for some food.. Very Happy

Nevermind. Just remember, still got a bank full of money, so all you poor dudes keep your last $$ in your pocket next time. Very Happy

Rank: Mr. Fabulous Joined: 19 Jul 2004 Posts: 519

May be he had a really small penis and he was scared that the stippers would notice, believe me I know the feeling Very Happy

!!!

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 1564

I thought it was "you can look but don't touch" in stripclubs... So how would the stripper know you have a really small penis than...

Rank: Mr. Fabulous Joined: 19 Jul 2004 Posts: 519

I dunno actually, maybe he just got nervous and thought of an excuse Question

!i!

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 16 Jul 2004 Posts: 2133