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Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 31 May 2009 Posts: 1214

Cassie sent this to me. She thought I'd like it. I did, and I thought you guys'd like it.

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering

Rank: Senior Member Joined: 04 Jul 2009 Posts: 168

Haha, sure made me laugh! Thank you Cassandre Laughing

Rank: Veteran Joined: 24 Apr 2009 Posts: 998

my old man sent me these exact same jokes before, still hilarious though Laughing

god bless the US Cool

Rank: Veteran Joined: 10 Jun 2009 Posts: 803

ah sweet delicious Irony

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 31 May 2009 Posts: 1214

Hehe, I thought you guys'd like this. Cassie gets a ton of jokes every day from Comedy Central (?) and she'll send the ones she thinks I'll like to me.

Your welcome poeple, who liked it. *^^*

Rank: Junior Member Joined: 05 Feb 2009 Posts: 124

Thats funny, they're all very true Surprised

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 31 May 2009 Posts: 1214

Thank you.

I have a question though. She told me she gets these from "Comedy Central", but I don't really know what it is..

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 4668

Comedy Central is a television channel devoted to varying and increasingly insane forms of comedy. Though, your friend probably meant to go to their website, www.comedycentral.com

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 08 Jul 2006 Posts: 2311

That list is much funnier if you read it with Yakov Smirnov's voice in mind... "What a country!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y5hEKfxm4M
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yakov_Smirnoff

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 31 May 2009 Posts: 1214

Thank you, Ashton.

And I'll look those up, Johnny.

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 4668

You're welcome.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 31 May 2009 Posts: 1214

*^^*

*hugs Ashton*

Royal Member of BonBon Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 4668

*hugs back* One can never have enough hugs.

Rank: Super Veteran Joined: 31 May 2009 Posts: 1214

I know, right?